Now I've had the chance to think about it I think I can start to come up with some thoughts on Watchmen the movie. For a start I think I might be far too close to the book to ever make any sensible judgements, as I watched the Watchmen I realised I was looking for the book version, each appearance of the policemen, the paper seller, the psychologist was met with a smile of recognition, each Hurm brought a chuckle to my throat. So as I'm talking about smiling and chuckling lets think about what was good.
The opening of the film was truly the most outstanding part. We see the history of this world in an opening credits montage that stays true to the spirit of Messrs Moore and Gibbons and yet takes a filmic approach. Reminiscent of Citizen Kane's March of Time the history of this world is laid out before us along to Dylan's Time's They are a Changing. The economical way Zack Snyder brings us up to the film's present allows us all to understand just where we are now and just who we are dealing with; Blake's assignation on the grassy knoll, the recreation of Eisenstaedt's V-J in Times Square featuring the Silhouette instead of a sailor, both really pleased me and sets up the film in the best way possible.
The use of Dylan on the opening is taken from the funny book, but one thing the comic will never do for you is sing and the choice to use tracks from the film's era(s) really worked. Each one a nod to the period and a counter point to the action helping to ground a fantasy world in our own shared reality. But this did have drawbacks; the first was the choice to use Hendrix's version of All Along the Watch Tower, obvious, out of period, and sign-posting the ending for those who didn't know it and dragging those of us who did out of the moment. The second...well I'll come to that later.
Those of you have managed to read this far will probably have guessed how this review will end up, after all I'm already onto the soundtrack as the second good thing to talk about, but before we get there let's think about the acting. What could have been the worst and most embarrassing part of the film turned out to be one of it's strengths; Jackie Earl Hurley was magnificent as Rorschach Throughout he manages to frighten, intimidate, evoke pity and sympathy in equal measure, no mean feat considering he spends most of the film behind a mask. And almost his equal is Jeffrey Dean Morgan; the terrifying face of Nixon's secret wars, raping and murdering his way through more than half of the twentieth century, Morgan still finds a much needed humanity in the Comedian.
On top of that it looked amazing. Dave Gibbons' pictures have been brought to life in a fantastic way. Archie emerging from the river, Rorschach mask and the Smiley face on the moon were all wonderful to see on the big screen, but herein lies the problems with the film; those are Dave Gibbons' moment not Zack Snyder's. The soundtrack choices are (at least partly) Moore's. The character's that Hurley and Morgan so wonderfully inhabit are the creation of Moore and Gibbons and what what I enjoyed as a Fanboy was also the film real failure. It's the comic on the screen. As a film it just doesn't work. As an animated comic giving us geeks images we love in another form it works, but that's no criteria to judge a movie.
The history of the Watchmen as a movie is long, complicated and not one to be recounted here. But throughout all this time the one orthodoxy has been 'Watchmen is unfilmable' and Zach Snyder has proven it true. He's put the basic plot and narrative up there on the silver screen but he's missed the point entirely. Watchmen was designed to not only deconstruct the superhero but to show exactly what sequential art is capable of. The book is loaded with new and unusual storytelling techniques. A film to match that level of complexity and narrative innovation should at least attempt to show us something new, it should try and honour the spirit of the source and attempt to tell that story in the most filmic of ways; so what do we get? Slow motion and lots of it. Both Terry Gilliam and Paul Greengrass were once attached to this project and either of those would have given us the story as a film, a film that will work on its own terms rather than a moving comic. Ultimately every film must work as a standalone artefact this film doesn't. By taking as much as he possibly could from the source, by staying so true to the novel Zach Snyder has failed to create a film, instead he's created a love letter to a writer who wants nothing to do with him. Alan Moore will not see it and he'll be right. I find it difficult to believe but my main criticism of this film stems from Zack Snyder's choice to stay so close to the text, to treat it as sacred. It make for entertaining moments but fails as a film.
When this film was being cut written across the wall of the editing room should have been Roger Corman's maxim "there's no film that wouldn't benefit from removing 20 minutes and adding an exploding helicopter" (or something like that, you look it up) and it's true. In fact it's not enough at 162 minutes it's a two toilet break film and just too long. Standing around talking can work in a static comic book but makes for an overlong and actionless film. Again a fault based on following the source so closely.
And then finally that scene. Hallelujah, and sex in Archie. In some ways the most cinematic moment in the film, I'll certainly never be able to listen to that song without thinking of Patrick Wilson's arse. It was cinematic in its attempts to create soft core porn in the middle of a superhero film. But mostly it was embarrassing. And just like when Xerxes arrives in 300 it was one of best unintentionally comic moments in my multiplex history.
Oh and the giant blue cock was a little distracting.
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